Listening & Talking

It's never too soon to begin

Though your baby can't talk, she will communicate with you from the moment she's born. Her first attempts at communication are in the form of eye contact - gazing at your face - soon to be followed by cooing and smiling.

Look into your baby's eyes from about 20cm to 25cm (8in to 10in) away - the best distance for babies to focus. Touch your baby gently - stroke her, smile at her, chat or sing to her - these are all great ways to communicate.

Talk to your baby - watch her reaction and wait for her response. This helps set the pattern for later conversation. Watch her 'body language' closely - every movement of arms or legs waving is part of your baby's response to you.

Look at your baby's movements - listen to every tiny sound and give her your full attention - you should see the subtle ways in which she answers you. You teach your baby to make sense of the world by these early communications. Often the best time to actively communicate is after a feed when your baby is feeling relaxed and content. But don't worry - most new parents find themselves doing all of this instinctively!

Remember, crying is also a very important part of your baby's language and the main way of communicating her needs before talking begins. Answering your baby's cries as soon as possible helps her to feel secure. See our feature on Crying and comforting for more information.

Early listening and talking

Years ago it was thought newborn babies couldn't see or hear properly, but we now know that it's important to start listening and talking early on as this helps to develop loving bonds between you and your baby.

Good listening is one of the most vital skills in your growing relationship with your baby. In the early days, it's about listening to her cries and gradually working out which one means "I'm hungry", and which means "I'm lonely and want a cuddle". Later on, it'll become the basis of a good relationship and a key part of meeting your baby's needs.

Talking tips

• Use loving kind words - babies can tell from the tone of your voice whether you're speaking positively. Speak quietly and face-to-face with your baby to cut out distractions.
• Use 'baby talk' - this is a higher-pitched way of talking and is preferred by babies all over the world. It's practised universally and in every language and you'll probably find you do it automatically when talking to your baby.
• Use 'small talk' - describe everything you're doing: "I'm pushing the pram" or "I'm putting on your nappy". Describe what you see your baby doing: "You're waving your arms" or "You're making a lovely cooing sound." Get in the habit of using 'small talk' as your baby grows.
• Talk about everything - when your baby is a little older, talk about everything as this helps language development: "We're putting on your trousers now", "I'm eating my lunch" or "It's very cold today".
• Name objects - for older babies, provide the names of everyday objects - especially when your baby begins to point at them. "That's your teddy" or "This is your cup" - your baby will learn most of her language from you. By the end of the first year, she can understand a great deal of what you say to her and will probably be able to follow simple instructions, like: "Pass me the cup" or "Wave bye-bye".
• Encourage your baby's attempts - never make fun of her when she gets words wrong, as this could put her off trying again. Encourage all her attempts to talk with you.
• Read together - start with special picture books for babies. This is invaluable for them as it helps improve words, language and listening skills. See our feature Baby's first books.
• Enjoy conversations together - by eight to 12 months she'll be making babbling sounds and may well say simple words like "dada" and "mama". Speak directly to her - this is important for speech to develop. Give lots of praise for every new language achievement - even if your baby doesn't quite understand the words.

Quick advice

• it's never too early to begin - communication begins from birth
• watch your baby's body language and wait for her responses
• crying is an important part of your baby's early communication
• talk to your baby about everything as she grows

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